managing
lesson 19:
seasons of a friendship: Winter
Lesson Summary
In this lesson, students learn about the last season a friendship may experience: winter. Students learn that in the season of winter, friendships can feel difficult, quieter and more distant.
Purpose
Purpose: This lesson supports students in navigating challenging periods of their friendships by providing opportunities for reflection and provides practical strategies for students to use.
Process
Time Needed: 30 - 35 minutes.
Activity: Winter Warm Up (5 mins)
Intro: (2 mins)
Activity: Warm Up Strategies (10-15 mins)
Activity: Scenario Practice (10 mins)
Debrief and Reflection (5 mins)
Materials & downloads
For this lesson, you will need the following:
Optional: Student workbook/notebook.
Activity: winter warm up (5 mins)
How it works:
Ask students to find a space in the classroom away from desks and chairs, so they have enough room to move around without bumping into anyone.
Share with students that each winter item has an action, and the students have to do the correct action.
Jumper = 5 Star Jumps
Scarf = Jogging on the spot
Coat = 360 degree spin
When the teacher says “FREEZE” all students have to freeze where they are!
Repeat for several rounds.
Debrief:
This activity gets us up and moving! In this lesson, we are going to learn that there are actions we can take to be able to move our friendships through the season of winter.
intro (2 mins)
A friendship in winter is when things feel tough. You might not talk to your friend as much, you might argue more, or you might feel left out or disconnected. Like all seasons on Earth (and in our friendships) it is temporary and does not last forever. In this lesson, we are going to learn about what we can do to help ourselves and our friends, when our friendships are in winter.
Activity: What does winter feel like? (10 mins)
Before moving onto discussing friendships experiencing winter, ask students first:
What does winter feel like?
Write down their responses (such as cold, dark, sad, quiet) on the board.
Then, use the student answers to connect to the concept of friendships experiencing the same feelings.
What might happen to make a friendship feel cold and distant?
Guide student answers to focus on common friendship issues such as fighting over a game, growing apart due to new or different interests, misunderstandings, or seeing each other less.
Remind students: Winter in a friendship is normal. All friendships go through it. It doesn't mean the friendship is over - it just needs extra care.
Ask students: Who has ever had a friendship that had a time when it felt like winter? Take a moment to acknowledge and normalise their experiences.!
teacher talk: Warm up strategies (10-15 mins)
When we experience winter, we put on extra clothes such as jumpers and clothes, hats and scarves to warm up! When our friendships are in winter, there are strategies we can use to help them “warm up” too.
Strategy 1: Pause
This is for when there has been a fight or disagreement or when emotions are very high. If you try to fix a big fight right away, it often makes it worse as both people can be too emotional. The best thing to do is Pause - give yourself and your friend space for an hour, or even a day. Let the feelings settle a little first. The friendship can’t grow in frozen ground (angry feelings), you need to be patient and wait. Being able to respect the space of the other person is important. If they come up and try to speak to us, we don’t ignore them, but we make sure we are not following them or trying to get them to be around us - we respect their boundaries.
Strategy 2: Kind Question
If you have been feeling distant from your friend or not spending much time together, you can ask a Question to take a small, positive step. This question isn't to do with any issues in the friendship, instead it is something friendly. You could just ask: 'Did you see that amazing movie last night?' or 'Want to play soccer today?' This helps your friend to understand that you still like them and want to connect and be friends. It doesn't fix the whole problem, but it warms the friendship up a lot!
Ask students to practice asking a kind question with a partner.
Strategy 3: Kind Talk
When you feel like you are ready to talk about an issue in your friendship, it is important to use Kind Talk. This means you never use words like 'You always...' or 'You made me...', as that is us blaming the other person for what happened or how we feel. Instead, you can use 'I feel...' statements. For example, you can say: 'I feel sad when we don't sit together at lunch anymore,' instead of 'You ignore me at lunch.' This focuses on your feelings and helps you both feel heard without making the friendship feel even more difficult.
As a class, practice “I feel” statements out loud.
Activity: SCENARIO PRACTICE
Being able to give students an opportunity to practice these skills can help improve their confidence to handle these situations. Share the following scenario with the class:
You had a big argument with your friend Alex over a game yesterday, and now Alex isn't looking at you. You both look and feel a little upset.
Ask the students which Warm-Up Strategy they could use first: Pause, Kind Question, or Kind Talk?
Teacher Tip: Pause is best initially, ask students to explain why and remind them that pausing is best when emotions are high.
Next, ask students to come up with a Kind Question and a Kind Talk sentence.
Debrief:
Even when we feel upset, sad about our friendship going through a difficult time, we remember that there are actions we can take to support the friendship. We cannot control the other person or the outcome and that is okay. What we can control is our choices to pause, ask a kind question and talk kindly about what has happened.
Lesson Debrief:
Winter friendships can feel lonely, confusing, or heavy. The season of winter teaches us patience, empathy, and how to show up for ourselves and our friendships. Some friendships warm up again. Some change. What matters most is that we treat ourselves and others with respect. Remember, you have the power to offer warmth. Don't wait for your friend to be the sun; be the sun yourself! Look for a chance this week to use one of these strategies to warm up a conversation and move a friendship out of the winter and towards spring.
