managing

lesson 20:

dealing with drama

Lesson Summary

This lesson gives students a greater understanding of how to identify and respond to friendship drama, including rude behaviour, mean behaviour, and bullying. Students will learn the differences between these behaviours and practise safe, practical strategies to deal with it. This lesson reinforces the message that bullying is serious and always requires adult support. The lesson aims to empower students with tools to navigate challenging behaviour while promoting a safe and respectful school environment.

Purpose

Purpose: Students identify the differences between rude, mean and bullying behaviour and understand they have choices (shut it down, walk away, ask for help)  in how they respond.

Process

Time Needed: 30 - 35 minutes.

  1. Activity: (5-10 mins)

  2. Intro (5 mins)

  3. Activity: Is it rude, mean or bullying? (10  mins)

  4. Teacher Talk: What Can I Do? (10 mins)

  5. Lesson Debrief (2 mins)

Materials & downloads

For this lesson, you will need the following: 

  • 3 large pieces of paper (such as butchers paper) and a marker pen

  • Optional: Student notepad and pencil.

Activity: Untie the Knot (5 mins)

How it works:

  1. Ask the class to stand in a circle with all students facing into the centre. Teacher to decide whether the class forms one circle or splits to make two.

  2. Tell each person to extend one of their arms out in front of themselves and then grab the hand (or wrist) of another person opposite them in the circle.

  3. Repeat this process with the other arm, grabbing the hand (or wrist) of a different person.

  4. When everyone is ready, the group(s) need to untangle themselves, without ever letting go of their partner’s hands.

  5. Each group must work together to untangle their arms until either a circle is produced or until the group agrees it cannot proceed any further. Teacher to remind students to be safe when completing this activity. 

Debrief:

This activity reminds us that when we are faced with challenges, we can take action and find a solution. How we treat the people around us when we are faced with a problem or difficult situation is also important - kindness, respect and being safe is always important

intro (10 mins)

Welcome back to Friendship Fitness!

If we experience unkind behaviour, there are different choices we can make to look after ourselves. Before we look at how we should respond, we first need to be able to clearly identify what rude behaviour, mean behaviour and bullying is as not all unkind behaviour is the same. 

Rude Behaviour

When someone does or says something without thinking or planning to do it - that is rude behaviour. This is usually accidental and is often due to the person not using their manners or not thinking about how their behaviour might affect someone else. This behaviour happens once and not very often.

  • Examples: interrupting a conversation, yawning loudly when someone is speaking.

Mean Behaviour

When someone does or says something hurtful or unkind on purpose once - that is mean behaviour. The difference between rude and mean behaviour is that with mean behaviour a person does it on purpose to try and hurt someone else's feelings. Mean behaviour can happen more than once.

  • Examples: calling a person names, teasing (e.g. about appearance or interests).

Mean behaviour is not okay! 

Bullying

When someone does or says something hurtful or unkind on purpose AND they keep doing it - even if you have asked them to stop or tell them you are upset - then this is bullying. There may also be a difference in power with the bully being physically bigger, older or part of a group but this is not always the case.

  • Examples: ongoing teasing (e.g. about appearance or interests), repeated exclusion, physically hurting someone.

Bullying is serious - this is why we always need to ask for help from a trusted adult.

Activity: Is it Rude, Mean or Bullying? (5-10 minutes)

  1. Write the words “Rude”, “Mean”, “Bullying” on 3 large pieces of paper and stick them on 3 different walls/spaces of the classroom. 

  2. Ask students to stand in the centre of the classroom.

  3. Teacher to read out a situation. Students are to decide if the situation is an example of rude behaviour, mean behaviour or bullying and then move to stand by the sign for the one they think it is. 

Situations:

  1. A student ignores you when you ask to join a game, even though they heard you.

  2. A classmate knocks over your drink and immediately apologises.

  3. A student repeatedly threatens to take your belongings if you don’t do what they say.

  4. A classmate knocks over your drink and immediately apologises.

  5. A student keeps calling you the same hurtful name, even after you ask them to stop.

  6. A student takes your turn in a game once and won’t let you go next.

  7. Someone tells you to “shut up” during group work.

  8. A classmate pushes past you in a hurry without noticing you.

  9. Someone makes a face when you sit next to them.

  10. The same group of students repeatedly tells you that you can’t sit with them at lunch.

Teacher Answers:

  1. Mean

  2. Rude

  3. Bullying

  4. Rude

  5. Bullying

  6. Mean

  7. Bullying

  8. Rude

  9. Bullying

  10. Mean

Debrief:

This activity helps us to understand the difference between rude, mean, and bullying behaviour and this understanding helps us know how to respond. Remember - rude behaviour is usually thoughtless or accidental, mean behaviour is done on purpose and hurts someone’s feelings, and bullying is when someone is hurt on purpose over and over again. Everyone deserves to feel safe and respected at school, so let’s look at the steps we can take if we experience these behaviours next.

Teacher Talk: What can I do? (10 Mins)

Now we know the differences between rude, mean and bullying behaviours, we also need to know that we have choices in how we respond. Being rude or mean back will not help and will most likely make the situation worse. Instead, we want to make choices that are calm, respectful and safe. Let’s learn about them:

  1. Shut It Down

If someone says or does something mean or unkind we can shut it with calm, strong words, also known as “Shut Down Statements”.

Examples of Shut Down Statements are:

  • “Stop. That’s not okay.”

  • “I don’t like you doing (or saying) that.”

  • “Please don’t speak to me like that.”

  • “Please leave me alone”

When we say Shut Down Statements, we don’t shout, yell, scream at or be rude to the other person. We are “assertive”. Being assertive means we talk in a way that is calm, confident and respectful.

2. Walk Away

If we are experiencing a situation, such as rude, mean or bullying behaviour and we feel upset or uncomfortable, we can walk away and leave the situation. We walk TO other friends, a teacher or staff member or another trusted adult. 


Optional: Students can practice calmly walking away towards one area of the classroom.

3. Ask for Help

If people are being unkind to us and it happens more than once, or we are being bullied, we always go to a trusted adult to get help.”

Trusted adults may include their classroom teacher, a teacher on duty at break and lunch, a school counsellor, a wellbeing or guidance officer, parent/carer, or coach. Asking for help is different from dobbing. Dobbing is when we are trying to get another person in trouble. Asking for help is when we are trying to keep ourselves or others safe. 

Lesson Debrief (5 mins)

Ask students to write down 3 things they have learned from the lesson. They can then share these learnings either with a partner, their table or the class.

In this lesson we have learned that not all unkind behaviour is the same. Understanding the difference between rude, mean, and bullying helps us know how to respond and what we can do to deal with it in a safe and respectful way. Remember - everyone deserves to feel safe and respected at school and if you need help always ask for it. 

Thank you!!

for spending time building fitter friendships